What lurks beneath the lid?

I’ve always loved coffee, but it’s Suz who bears responsibility for turning me into a bonafide java-snob. Your dark roasts, your light roasts, your medium roasts–I love them all. Whether it’s an exotic peaberry from Tanzania, a pure Kona from Hawaii, or a humble-but-hearty house blend, I’ll never say no to Joe. And while I frequent several lovely independent cafes, more often than not I end up swinging by my local Starbucks to feed my addiction.

So imagine my joy when I ran across Starbucks Gossip, the unofficial blog of the chain’s baristas. And imagine my voyeuristic sense of satisfaction when I read this post on what the celebs drink and found it to contain several ballplayers. Coffee and baseball! Two of my favorite things! Commingling in caffeinated bliss!

Assuming you don’t share my obsession with celebrity gossip, I’ve thoughtfully pared down the list to just baseball players:

Posted by: SoCalBarista | August 17, 2008 at 02:49 PM

Derek Jeter came in to our store a week ago and ordered a double tall non-fat latte.

Should've gotten decaf.

Posted by: Will | August 18, 2008 at 08:31 AM

Roger Clemens orders a Venti Earl Grey and Venti no-whip Caramel Frap

Jeff Bagwell gets a tall nonfat latte and tall awake.

Posted by: :) | August 18, 2008 at 04:43 PM

For the baseball fans, Joe Nathan, one of the top pitchers in the country, of the Minnesota Twins came to my store. He ordered a grande vanilla bean creme frappiccino and a banana loaf. He was really rude. Drove up and on his cell phone, wouldn’t even acknowledge me, and no tip of course. I also found it weird that an athlete was having such a fattening non-caffeinated bev.

Posted by: Borrowed Partner | August 18, 2008 at 08:46 PM

Roger Clemens got a caramel frap and a slice of lemon pound cake at my old store. Tipped well and was very nice.

Posted by: Boston Starbucks Rebel | August 18, 2008 at 08:51 PM

JoeTori [sic] came into my store and got a caramel macchiato.

But really, you should read the entire thread. There’s something oddly compelling about seeing Barack Obama, Cameron Diaz, and Chuck Norris all jumbled together through the barista lens. Plus, you find out things like that Tiger Woods doesn’t tip, that Michael Jordan only tips the change (but pays with a $20, so it’s okay), that Kevin Garnett gets his coffee venti-sized (TOP OF THE WOOOORLD! TOP OF THE WOOOORLD!!!!), and that Chad Johnson double parks in the handicapped space (why am I not surprised?). Sometimes, they are who we thought they were. But other times (I’m looking at YOU, Joe Torre) the beverages offer up a surprise.

Personally, I’m a grande bold with room, tips the change. Or I did until I read this post.

At least I’m still ahead of Taylor throws-the-drink-back-through-the-drivethru-window Swift. C’mon Taylor…that’s not our song!

“Never fuck with a winning streak.” – Crash Davis, from the movie “Bull Durham.”

“Get on Torre. Don’t blame me.” – Manny Ramirez, explaining who’s to blame for his recent slump.

As the LA Times’ T.J. Simers explains, “The Dodgers were playing like a powerhouse after Ramirez’s arrival — until the Dodgers’ hair-challenged manager insisted on Samson cutting his dreadlocks, Ramirez complying and hitting .250 ever since, the Dodgers going 4-7 in that time.”

In addition to his reduced batting average, Ramirez has 5 RBI and 1 home run over that period.

The Dodgers just lost four in a row to the Phillies, a team they beat four times in a row prior to Manny’s haircut. They’ve fallen one game below .500. and three games behind the Diamondbacks.

Come on, Joe. Don’t you know? Never fuck with a winning streak.

Time for another addition of fantasy fun. In this chapter, Paul returns from Japan, Sarah clinches a playoff birth, Alejandro squeaks by and Coley accepts his fate.

Sarah: The Somerville Green Sox clinched a playoff spot this week with a resounding 12-0 win over the long-dormant “caitlin grace” squad, who is apparently so lazy she cannot even capitalize her team name, much less be bothered to alter her roster–her active roster still includes Victor Martinez (DL), Khalil Greene (DL), Casey Kotchman (NA), Rafael Furcal (DL), Chris Young (DL), Dustin McGowan (DL), and Franklin Morales (NA). But hey, I ain’t complainin’. My team was smokin’ hot this week, racking up 7 saves, 117 total bases, 52 K’s, and so on. Plus my averages were pretty good too: .352 OBP, 2.51 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, 3.25 K/BB. The only scary moment came when Ian Kinsler flirted with season-ending surgery (he’s now set to return to the lineup sometime early in September). I’ve picked up Mike Aviles in the meantime. Hot: Everyone, but especially Vernon Wells. Not: No one. There were only people who were slightly less than totally scorching. It was that kind of week.

Coley: I know how my team is bad. I just can’t figure out why. Why was this the season when Aaron Harang went from reliable horse to hittable mule? Why did Josh Beckett and Carlos Lee have to get injured as soon as I traded for them? Why did Brett Myers and Oliver Perez start so terribly? And why does my team, which is probably the strongest team I’ve ever had on paper, continue to lose? How can a pitching staff with Beckett, Harden, Dice-K and a resurgent Myers be so bad? How can an offense led by Alfonso Soriano, Hanley Ramirez, Mark Teixeira, Connor Jackson and Vlad Guerrero be so meh? I will be forever haunted by this fantasy season. Hot: Bengie Molina, Mark Teixeira, Vlad Guerrero, Rich Harden, Brett Myers. Not: Brandon Lyon, Jason Giambi.

Paul: Be honored. I just got back to my apartment after being in Japan for the last week. And what do I do first? I come to my laptop and type up my (albeit belated) fantasy post. And while I do love my fantasy baseball, I have to admit that I paid no mind at all this past week since I just didn’t have the time to be changing lineups and checking results. And whenever I’m in Japan, my priority first and foremost is food. Lots and lots of food. Anyhow I just saw the results from this past week about ten minutes ago and I was pleasantly surprised that my team didn’t need any attention whatsoever, winning my week 11-1 against Ania and her team with the really long name. But it’s a bummer that both Justin Duchscherer and George Sherrill hit the DL without me knowing. Now I’ve gotta play some catch-up on the waiver wire. Word to your mutha. Hot: Brian Roberts, David Wright, Matt Holliday, Cliff Lee. Not: Kosuke Fukudome, Troy Tulowitzki, my team’s necessity for a manager that pays attention.

Alejandro: Another week, another narrow victory over one of the two cellar-dwelling teams in the UmpBump Fantasy League. Freebase my balls is second to last, and only because caitlin grace (what’s up with inproper capitalization guys?) doesn’t bother anymore. And still, my Center Field Stud barely wins 6-5. It was so bad, I lost in the Stolen Base category 2-1. The offense was there, especially now that I know Alexei Ramirez will win ROTY (yes, Paul, Longoria posted the numbers, but he’s hurt). I have a hole in left field since Carl Crawford went down, and Garret Anderson’s hit streak is useless in our league. A big shout out to Mike Pelfrey who pitched two consecutive complete games (even though the second one counts towards this week). Hot: A.J. Pierzynksi, Alexei Ramirez, Jermaine Dye (live and die by the White Sox, eh CF Stud?), Yunel Escobar, Tim “no contest” Lincecum, Manny Parra, Mike Pelfrey, Kerry Wood, B.J. Ryan. Not: Jon Garland, Vicente Padilla, Garret Anderson, Josh Hamilton, Magglio Ordoñez.

The Braves are not good. Maybe you noticed. Atlanta pitchers gave up 26 hits in an 18-3 loss to the Cardinals last night. It was the Braves’ sixth consecutive loss and 11th in 12 games. They are now 16 games back in the NL East.

So, it’s safe to say Braves fans are looking ahead to next season. But what will next year’s team look like? AJC columnist Jeff Schultz seems to think it will be a team stocked with expensive free agents. He says the Braves may have $47 million to spend. $47 million!

The Braves might lose five of the top seven salaries from this year’s payroll: Mike Hampton, John Smoltz, Mark Teixeira (already traded), Tom Glavine and Mark Kotsay.

So who might the Braves sign?

Hello, C.C. Sabathia or Ben Sheets?

Hmmm…that sounds like a little bit of wishful thinking. But let’s say Schultz is right. Let’s say the Braves give Sabathia a six-year $120 million contract. They’ll have $27 million left to spend. And all they’ll need is two more starting pitchers to pitch alongside CC, Jair Jorgens and Jorge Campillo. Free agent pitchers will include Jon Garland (29), Braden Looper (34) and Derek Lowe (36). Bringing back Glavine didn’t work, but Greg Maddux (43) will be a free agent this winter. How about it?

Oh, and they’ll need a centerfielder to replace Kotsay. Free agent centerfielders include Rocco Baldelli (27), Jim Edmonds (39), Mark Kotsay (33), Corey Patterson (29). Will $27 million accompish all that? Will Liberty Media grow the team’s budget?

For what it’s worth, AJC blogger David O’Brien has a plan to put together a contender and keep Tom Glavine and John Smoltz in Atlanta (in the unlikely event that either returns to pitch in 2009). He says ownership should set a budget, but make it clear that they’ll exceed that budget only to sign Glavine or Smoltz, or both.

I really don’t get O’Brien’s plan. It seems to me that if you’ve got $100 million to spend on a team that does include Tom Glavine, then you should have $100 million to spend on a team that doesn’t include Glavine.

A much better plan for rebuilding the Braves is the plan floated by Sabernomics earlier in the week. Part of that strategy involved trading Chipper Jones:

I think Chipper would be willing to play for another team that has a chance to win (a source has told me that this is the case). And if the Braves are rebuilding, I don’t think he’ll miss being part of the process. Sure, some fans will miss him, but it’s not like the organization heavily promotes him now. Chipper will go into the Hall of Fame as a Brave, that is settled. And the fact that his bat can net prospects that can help the team rebuild is an asset that the Braves shouldn’t waste. for nostalgia.

Trading Chipper would be unpopular, to be sure. But there is simply no way Atlanta is going to compete in 2009, especially now that Tim Hudson is going to be out all year. So why not make 2010 the goal?

Hey, plenty of folks here at Umpbump picked the Braves to win the NL East this season. Well, ok, it was just me. But I’ll be the first one to admit that I was wrong. The Braves aren’t a championship team. Not even close. It’s time for Frank Wren to come to the same conclusion. $47 million worth of free agents won’t fix this team. Atlanta needs to get younger. And cheaper. And trading Chipper Jones is the quickest way to do that.

NOTE: For a complete list of 2009 free agents, check out MLB Trade Rumors.

The last stop on my minor league road trip was Harrisburg, PA. Somewhere between Harrisburg and my apartment in Somerville, I lost all the notes I’d taken during the game. Well, there goes that, I figured. But earlier today, I was cleaning out my car when I came upon a crumpled scrap of paper lodged under the passenger seat. Behold! It is the very scrap of paper upon which I transcribed my thoughts as the Harrisburg Senators, the Double-A affiliate of the Nationals, handily beat the Reading Phillies. Although, I have to admit that my mind, apparently, was not quite occupied with the action on the field:

I rode 220 from Greensboro to Roanoke, where I picked up the Blue Ridge Parkway for a few miles. Hopped onto 81 and it stopped being scenic not long thereafter. Discovered marvelous, nectar-of-the-gods type eatery called Biscuitville. [Ed. note: according to Biscuitville.com, this delightful portal into otherwordly realms of gastric delight only exists in North Carolina and Virginia. Bosh!]

Before we begin, I just have to say that if it hadn’t been for the Yuengling on tap and the Reading Phillies’ bloodred-and-powder blue unis, there would have been no redeeming value to watching this game.

However, powder blue uniforms are always a welcome sight, especially when paired with deep crimson socks and caps and red and white racing stripes. And for reasons known only to the Philadelphia-based brewery, you can’t get Yeungling in New England, so a tall cold one is a treat to be savored.

So I’d like to give a big shoutout to Philly. Because Harrisburg really, really sucks.

First, there are no signs directing motorists to the ballpark - a first, as far as yours truly is concerned. So after spending eight hours driving to H-burg, I spent another hour just driving around the city looking for the stadium. When I got off the highway to ask directions, I promptly found myself in the ghetto [Ed. note: this probably describes 95% of Harrisburg].

I finally gave up and called the boyfriend, who used Google Maps, which I consider a form of road-trip cheating. Anyway, finally I found Commerce Bank Park. (What kind of name is that anyway? Commerce Bank? That’s like Drinks Bar or Food Restaurant.) It’s located on an island in the middle of the Susquehanna. The island is called City Island and it has a park on it called….City Island Park. [Ed note: At this point, I just gave up.]

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